If you’d asked me a year ago if I’d ever write a novel, I’d probably have told you ‘Hell No!’ Sure, some people can write a novel in a month, but it never felt like my kind of project. It was too big, too overwhelming, too long term for my creativity. I felt best suited for one offs: poems, essays, short stories. I had a desired to be published, but not for a novel.

Today, I’m 20,000 plus words into a story that’s looking more and more like a novel. Not just any kind of novel: but a sci-fi/fantasy novel, world building included.

Oops.

This surprising turn of events hasn’t just gotten me writing a novel, it’s reminding what creativity is all about. Here’s a few lessons I’m learning about creativity and big projects.

1. Break it down

Part of what always terrified me about writing a novel was the sheer size of it. I may be able to read 200 pages in a day, but writing that? That was a scale I hadn’t ever really thought about creatively. My creativity was in bits and spurts, small chunks of insight. I just couldn’t mentally grasp writing that much.

Writing a novel, I realized, is the same process. It just has more sections or chunks than other projects. Each section feels like chipping away at a block of stone, slowly moving toward completion. I didn’t have to change how I work. I only had to change how I saw novels. It made a scary project no longer, well, scary.

If you’ve been thinking about a big project, say creating a multiple course meal, break it down. Think of it in chunks. Find your inspiration for appetizers. Then go onto the next section. You’ll still tackle a big project, without as much fear holding you back.

2. Research is your friend

So my novel is set over 300 years in the future. Another panic that came up for me was around world building. How do I envision a world of the future so far ahead? Will people still work? How will they communicate? Will they still enjoy melted cheese on bread? God, I hope so!

It’s easy to say ‘Hey, it’s your novel! The world can be anything you want it to be!’ Yet, I also wanted this world to seem believable to people. So, realistic world building continues to be critical for me.

So, part of the process has been research. No, I haven’t been consulting psychics, but rather looking at what are the innovations/technologies today? What could their future be? Some of this has been looking at potential space travel and ideas people have for faster travel, including solar sails and electro-magnetic propulsion. I’ve also had very good scientific friends help me when certain concepts start to become complicated for me.

Instead of just pure fanciful imagination, I’ve tried to instead extrapolate a world based around these ideas. I believe it will give my novel a realism that imagination alone can’t provide. Plus, research inspires new ideas, whether it’s a plot twist or describing future building types.

Creativity has never been in a vacuum. Inspiration is everywhere, even inside scholarly articles, or physics discussions with friends.

3. Embrace Your Process

I doubt that my novel writing style is like a lot of other writers. I develop plot as I write the novel. My writing style is linear: I write from beginning to end in a linear fashion (as of now I still don’t know how my novel ends.) It’s probably a more exhausting method than say, outlining it first. Yet, it’s how I get a grip on my characters and develop the story in a natural way.

Afterwards, I go back to flesh it out more fully. For instance, I just spent a week adding background details, expanding dialogue, and tightening the novel’s timeline. It’s messy, chaotic, and probably more time consuming than it had to be. Realizing that made me feel self-conscious. Worse, it made me wonder if I was doing it wrong. If I was, how could I write a good novel?

I had to take a step back and remember: I’ve tried writing to an outline. I’ve tried being more organized. It’s just not how I write. In fact, it stymies my creative process. My process could be messy, long, and disorganized, but here I was, writing thousands of words. Wasn’t that what mattered?

Every person has a different process. Perhaps you’re an incredibly organized musician. You have a tight system for writing a beat, laying down lyrics, and stringing together a great song. Awesome! Perhaps you’re more like me, figuring out what a piece will be as you make it. Whatever is your process, own it. Comparing your process to others only fills you with doubt and undermines your ability to do great work.

4. Side projects are a good thing (sometimes)

Some days, I just can’t look at my novel. Don’t get me wrong, I love the project, but it’s like being in a long term relationship. You love your partner, but sometimes you just need to get out of the house and catch up with a friend.

In my case, this means putting down my novel occasionally to write and do other projects. This can mean writing essays on real world topics or writing poetry. Sometimes, it means an evening spent journaling nonsense or coloring.

Do these side projects make writing a novel longer? Perhaps. Focusing solely on my novel could seem like it would go faster. Yet, these side projects give my brain time to rest, allowing the novel to flow more naturally and I believe, become a better work overall.

The only issue that seems to come up is when you have multiple large projects overlapping. Of course, I’ve also been working on a photo poetry book. While they’re at very different stages of development, having two large projects makes it harder to focus on either finishing.

In the end, it’s not just multiple projects but a variety of them that’s important.

5. Enjoy the ride

It’s easy to get caught up in worry. Is what I’m doing any good? Will anyone like this? Is it realistic? Oh god, what am I doing?

If you can’t tell, I’m an expert worrier.

But you know what? I had no idea how fun writing a novel could be. Yes, fun. I get to learn new things every day. The other day I was doing research on Mars’s geology and dear God, I enjoyed it. Writing a scene between my two main characters made me laugh. Reading it over, I still smile.

Writing a novel has been fun, despite the worry and work. When the doubt and worry come up, I use that to refocus myself. It doesn’t matter whether or not the work is ever published. I am the first and last reader. It helps me write for myself before pleasing anyone else.

Large creative projects are time consuming. They are hard, especially if you have full time work as well. If you aren’t enjoying the process, what’s the point? You don’t have to finish any project to say you’ve finished it. In fact, that’s often when I find my creativity dry up.

Stick to your guns. Enjoy creating it or let yourself move on to something that’s a better fit for you. It’s not so much a failure but gathering data of what doesn’t work for you. It brings you closer to your real success.

I won’t claim to know everything about writing a novel: this is my first and I’m only 20,000 words in. National Novel Writing Month, for instance, sets the word count for the project at 50,000. If there’s any take away, it’s about getting out of your own head.

A big project is just an idea. Whether you need to break it into smaller chunks or reframe it inside your process, adjust the project to how you work, not the other way around. You’ll find your creativity flowing as you tackle your big project.

Have you tackled a large creative project? Tell me about it in the comments!

I won’t lie: I put off writing this piece. I put it off for over three weeks. Even now, I feel a nagging guilt because I haven’t updated my blog in…weeks. It was easy to avoid since I have some bigger projects I’m working on (I’m a Gemini: we love to bite off more than we can chew).

But creativity as a therapy matters because all of us have rough times. It’s important for me to acknowledge that I have them too. I won’t go into the details, but basically, I had my hopes dashed on multiple fronts in early February. I was upset. I needed to do something that let me release that emotion. I decided I needed to do it in my own artistic way.

We’ve all heard about art therapy. Art has been used in various ways, from helping deal with trauma to being a part of addiction therapy. Yet, we don’t need to be in a program or have traumatic or serious issues to use creativity and art as ways of dealing with issues, struggles, or pain.

Creativity might seem the most trivial then. I believe that’s when we need it the most. Here’s why:

Recognize and acknowledge what you’re going through

There’s a power in naming your experience. In one form of meditation, recognizing how you feel is a key factor in dealing with strong emotions. Creative processes, whether writing, painting, music, or dance can help you recognize and acknowledge your experience.

Especially when big issues happen, such as grief, you are expected to still go about your daily life. It can feel incredibly difficult to acknowledge those feelings or to have any witness to it. Creativity allows you to do both.

Step back from your feelings

One of the reasons I love writing is because it helps put those experiences, those feelings somewhere else. It takes the thoughts, the worries and dumps it on the page. Creativity can do the same thing with larger emotions as well. Need to dance? Leave it on the dance floor. Pissed off? Create a punk rock song to echo through your house (just not at 2 am).

Keeping your feelings inside, jumbled around, doesn’t help. They can become like stagnant water: perfect for mosquitoes and bacteria to fester. No matter who you are, you deserve more than that.

It’s backed by science

Still not sold? Here’s a few scientific studies that might change your mind

• Creating art can reduce cortisol levels, a key indicator of stress (Walsh et al, 2007).
• Art therapy and creative arts can stimulate cognitive functioning in older adults who struggle with dementia (Levine-Madori, 2009)
• Reduces depression and fatigue levels in cancer patients (Bar-Sela,et al, 2007).

I know I talk a lot about journaling. But here’s another way I used creativity to deal with my struggles and went beyond my comfort zone.

How I did it:

So, when I had my own personal struggle, I decided to do something about it. For awhile, my friend Sophie and I have joked about breaking dishes and making art out of it. This time we finally decided to do it. Our process was:

1. Go to a thrift store and buy old porcelain pieces in the same color family.

2. Wrap them in plastic bags and put them on a surface you don’t mind getting roughed up. We used an old cardboard box top.

3. Talk about the things that were bothering us.

4. Smash the crap out of objects with a hammer.

5. Repeat steps 3-4 until we had the pieces we needed

6. Lay out the design for the mosaic of stiff poster board (you want something thicker to hold the weight of all those pieces).

7. Hot glue gun the pieces bit by bit.

8. Continue to talk out feelings through it all.

Afterwards, we both had our own beautiful mosaics. I can say that I felt so much better afterwards not only because I got to take my anger out in a physical manner but also put it to words with someone. It probably cost about the same as a few drinks out at a bar, but it was far cheaper on calories. Instead of avoiding my issues, I faced them head on. Afterwards, I felt like I had come a few steps closer to closure. I no longer had the same thoughts running circles in my head.

You don’t have to do a full collage to use art/creativity to work out difficult feelings. Any of the usual ways you channel your creativity can work at being therapeutic. The important part is allowing yourself to be honest. It can be dark, scary, angry. No one but you has to see it or witness it.

Acknowledge it. Let it be. Creativity isn’t always beautiful or easy: it’s channeling from wherever you are. Once you allow that, often times you’re able to let it go more easily. It can still take days, weeks, or months. But letting yourself work through it creatively, you may just find it a bit easier to move on.

 

Recently, a few discussions with some of my creative friends brought up different aspects of ego. It started with a friend asking me about a writing project. He thought that I’d simply passed on curating it. When I told him I had never been asked, he was shocked. It was gratifying to hear that reaction, because I had felt a bit snubbed. I also realized how much I had taken to heart that I hadn’t been chosen.

The second time ego came up was over coffee. Another friend is helping edit a book. The project had been struggling because the boss had decided they too needed to have a piece in the collection. That decision ultimately has cost them months of waiting around for this person to write their piece. I couldn’t help but laugh: what a waste all because of ego.

It got me thinking, was I any better than her boss? What place does ego have in creativity anyways?

What is ego?

I use the term a lot, but realized that I don’t always know what exactly I mean. Google defines ego as “a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance”. Most of us would agree that a certain amount of self-esteem and valuing yourself is fundamental for survival. If you don’t matter, why eat or drink water?

Yet ego matters, even in less dire circumstances. It helps you fight for that needed pay raise. It makes you important enough to have personal boundaries. Ego helps you meet your needs and wants.

For creative types, this can mean a variety of things. Ego can help you sell your goods. It can ensure you price them in way that leaves you feeling valued, not resentful. It can be the push you need to buy that delicious looking set of materials. Or perhaps it nudges you to finally open a Vimeo account or Facebook page.

Having no ego can actually undermine your ability to be creative. If you aren’t taking care of your personal needs, how can you have the energy to create?

When ego becomes dangerous

So why does ego get the bad rap? Sadly, most of us fall in extremes when it comes to ego: too much or too little. We’ve all known someone with too much ego. Maybe they come to the party and never bring something to help, but eat everything. Perhaps it’s your neighbor who never apologizes for stomping around at 2 AM. Ego unchecked doesn’t just value you; it places you over everyone else.

For creative types this is really bad for your work for a few reasons

1. Ego refuses criticism

Criticism hurts. It can make you feel wrong. Instead of being always awesome, criticism can make you feel like you’re not as valuable. Ego would like to avoid these feelings as much as possible. If you only listen to your ego, it will find any excuse to dismiss criticism

Oh that person has no idea what they’re talking about.

They’re just jealous of me because I am more successful.

They’re wrong because they aren’t an example of my audience.

Yet, avoiding criticism can actually make your work weaker over the long run. It can help your write better stories, craft better songs, and sharpen dance moves. If you refuse to take any criticism, it becomes incredibly difficult to improve at all. It leaves you repeating the same mistakes again and again.

2. Ego makes it difficult to work with others

Remember how I wasn’t asked to help with that writing project? My ego was critical of many of those who were chosen. I wanted to know what made them a better choice than me. It was petty. It certainly made it harder to work with and learn from these people, many of whom I like and admire.

When you let your ego run loose, working with others becomes incredibly difficult. It sees an illusion: that there are limited numbers of opportunities to create and have the world see your work. It turns creativity into a competition.

Creativity isn’t a race. With over 7 billion people on this planet, there is enough audience to go around and then some. Your value doesn’t go up or down as a creative person if someone else is talented, even if they’re in the same field as you.  Instead, they could be people to learn from or work with. Who knows? You might find a partner in creative crime helping you go further than you’ve ever dreamed.

3. Ego forgets how it really works

I read an article last year about power and empathy. It turns out that as people often rise through the ranks, brain functions can change, reducing a person’s ability to empathize. The very traits that bring people success are slowly lost as they gain more and more power. These people tend to demand the spotlight. They decide they are the sole decision maker. They don’t readily admit their mistakes.

Funny, sounds a lot like an ego out of check.

When you do reach creative success, ego can be very dangerous. It doesn’t care how it worked. It just wants more value, more importance, more and more and more. It can undermine the very habits or work you’ve done that brought you there. In the hope of acquiring more, your ego can actually undermine you.

For instance, ego might not want to admit that you have to do a few throw away sketches before you paint. Suddenly, you might find yourself skipping the practice that you need to help you get ready to paint. What once may have taken a week or two to paint can now take over a month and with even more revisions. It sounds like a lot of extra work just because you are “too good” to do your prep work.

Staying balanced

So you can’t get rid of ego nor can you let it go rampant. How do you stay balanced? Honestly, I don’t have all the answers. Here’s what I know so far:

A. Acknowledge your ego

When talking with my friend about the project, I admitted I felt a bit snubbed. I also shared that my ego was a part of it. I didn’t do it just for him, I did it to be honest with myself.

Knowing when and where your ego comes up helps you to be aware of it. It’s hard to be in control of something you don’t see.

Not sure about yours? Ask yourself these questions

• When do I crave recognition?
• What makes me feel valued?
• What makes me feel small?
• What are the qualities about myself that I value most?
• What value do I give to others?
• If I lost __ about myself, I would be devastated.
• My creative dream is ____.

B. Avoid the comparison trap

A surefire way for me to feel crappy about myself creatively? Remembering that Taylor Swift is six months younger than me. Ouch.

Comparing yourself against anyone, whether they are “better” or “worse” than you is a dangerous game. It can make you feel too self-important or totally in the dumps. We all have our strengths and weaknesses. Each of us is unique in our creativity. We are supposed to touch different people, do different things, and just be different.

Taylor Swift is a very talented pop star. She works hard and has done very well for herself. But let’s be real: I would be a miserable pop star. It’s not my path and that’s okay.

Focus on yourself, what you want and need creatively. Because someone else’s success and failure? That’s their business.

C. Remember it’s always in flux

Your ego isn’t a constant object. I envision it more like a body of water. It reacts and changes to the environment. Perhaps you see a lot of success, like a lot of rain, it can make your ego larger. Or, perhaps you really try to not have ego in one area of your life. You may notice that area of your life can dry up and no longer be good for you either.

Your ego changing on you isn’t not a bad thing, it just shows your human. Be gentle with yourself and keep working at staying balanced.

At the end of the day, understanding and working with your ego doesn’t seemlike it does anything for your creativity. But keeping your ego in check can help you do better creative work. It will also help you get over the stumbling blocks you put in front of yourself.

What do you think about ego? Does it help or hurt your creativity?

What a crazy period! Holidays always seem to leave me exhausted rather than replenished. But, here we are, a whole new year before us.

It also happens to be a period when I sold a lot of photography. I decided to share some of the lessons learned. As creatives, selling work can be a part of the journey. Here’s what I honestly know so far.

How it began

I was going through my desk in early December and remembered I had all these photographs that were just hiding in my drawer. I wasn’t using them, but someone else might.

So I got an idea, let friends and family know that I was selling them. People could name their own price. It could be a nice way for people to give some small one of a kind gifts.

Publicity/Marketing

I highlighted my sale of 4×6 prints on social networks. I also wrote an email out to friends and family that weren’t active on places like Facebook and Instagram.

The most succesful social network for me: Facebook.

I’m not sure why, but this one worked best for me. Perhaps it’s because it was based more around my deeper social connections. My network on Facebook is probably larger and full of longer friendships, so people who know and like my work would be more likely to see it there. Still, I made sure to post something every couple of days on social networks to ensure maximum visibility.

I also sent out an email to friends and family letting them know I was making this sale. I did both a generic email to many people, as well as reached out to a few people directly.

Which worked better? That’s right, the direct message to one person. Granted, this wasn’t a complete experiment: I didn’t do an email follow up to the big mass email. Reaching out to family and friends, I didn’t want to push them.

Reaching out on a personal level may take more work, but I believe comes off as more sincere and engaging.

Marketing matters

This may be the hardest part for many artists. It can be uncomfortable promoting yourself. You may feel like you’re shouting at the world. Or perhaps you’re taking up too much space talking about yourself and your work.

But to sell your work, especially at the beginning, promotion is key, especially to people you know. Everyone who bought from me during this period was either my friend or family member.

Promotion doesn’t have to be pushy. Think of it instead as an awareness campaign.They don’t have to take you up on it and that’s ok. But you never know who might actually want your work. It may be the person you least expected.

Working with my customers

A few friends did reach out from the beginning. I had to keep in mind who was first, because of my inventory with many images only having one copy. For some, like my friends who live in DC, I could simply bring my images with me to meet them and they could pick what they wanted there. For others who lived in places like Philadelphia and Seattle, I had to scan images and send them via email.

Pro: It was customer friendly in the sense of first come first serve. It was a fair process that encouraged people to step up quickly to get photographs.

Con: It made the process slow, especially with email. Each person would take at least a day to look at photos, slowing down the process for others. It could have also made it more difficult for people to choose and buy (cut out this line). Because I didn’t do this through a store, it became harder with email, to ensure I was presenting what I actually had.

Pricing

I chose to make it name your own price. Why? Because I was more focused on moving inventory rather than making a lot of money. Plus, with family and friends, money can be a harder subject to broach. I thought that name your own price would be easier for them.

In reality? It made people uncomfortable. They just wanted to know what I wanted for them in many cases. Once again, because long-standing friends and family were involved, people want to do right, but what is the value of a photograph? For people who aren’t artistic, the value, the work behind taking a shot can seem difficult to make.

In the end, I helped a few people decide how much the photos were worth. In this period, I didn’t sell a photo for more than $5. For 18 photos, was it worth all that effort? For me it was. The money was nice, but I did it more as a learning experience and way of cleaning out house. I certainly wasn’t looking to make a killing this season.

What I would do differently next time:

1. Give a time limit for how long people have to look at images

This will ensure people move quickly and not hold up the process for anyone else. Or, I might invest in putting it online, on a site like Etsy, so multiple people can shop at the same time.

2. Name a price

I’d keep the prices low, especially for a clearing out sale like this. But, it would reduce issues/confusion for people. That way, more sales, less hassle, and everyone leaves feeling like it went well.

3. Provide ideas for photographs/prints

One issue is that people thing that photos are only to be matted or framed on walls. Photographs can be used in so many other ways including:

-Postcards
– Remix materials for art/collages
-Bookmarks
-Envelope liners

I might create some blog posts with other ideas when highlighting another sale. It’s not just about creating something beautiful, but also showing how someone can use it. Creating a photography gift guide around my project could have helped people see new ways to use it other than wall decoration.

Selling art of any kind, is a learning process. They way I learn is to stumble in head first, making errors and learning from them as I go. Whether you want to sell photography, music, or any other medium, be sure to know what you can and can’t give. At first, be willing to spend a lot of effort to make very little.

Have you ever tried to sell your work? What lessons did you learn? Leave a comment and let me know!

Honestly? I’m wary of New Years resolutions. More than just the terrible statistics about New Years resolutions, I remember all the ones I haven’t kept: the years I was certain I would lose weight with a rigorous schedule, or stop drinking coffee (as an empty Starbucks cup sits on my desk).

The problem, in my opinion, is creating really HUGE resolutions and expecting your whole life to change.The guilt, the shame when you don’t makes you feel bad and less than. It’s a whole bag of awful that Id rather skip.

When I look back, the biggest changes in my life started quite small. It was the occasional yoga class that turned into a daily habit. It was the journaling that became a full-fledged passion and career. It was small changes that slowly built on themselves, like compounding interest.

I’m not the only one who believes this. BJ Fogg, director of the Persuasive Tech Lab at Stanford University. He shares what his research has revealed about motivation and change in this amazing Ted Talk.

Starting off small can help you at least start. And often, it can help you do far more than just your goal.

So you want to be more creative in 2016? Here are a few ideas for resolutions:

1. Write for five minutes a day

I firmly believe in the power of journaling. While I try to do at least 3 pages a day, starting off small can help. Write a list. Write about your dreams. Write about your crazy neighbor’s christmas lights. It doesn’t matter, just write for five minutes.

2. Take one photo a day

Photography has never been more accessible. Snap a quick shot on your smartphone, or perhaps go analog with an instax camera. You’ll be amazed at what a year of photography can do not only for your eye, but also as a way of remembering your year.

3. Play your instrument for 3 minutes daily

Is your piano or guitar at home gathering dust? Put your smartphone timer on and just warm up for a few minutes. Maybe you’ll do more. Maybe you’ll put it away. But those three minutes certainly won’t interrupt your sleep.

4. One sketch a day

It can be a quick gesture drawing or a more detailed study. But one page a day will quickly fill your sketchbook (or three).

5. Read one page a day

Part of being creative is finding inspiration. As a writer, reading deeply influences my work. As much as I love to read, it’s easy to not pick up a book. This resolution has helped me read far more this year than any other year since college.

6. Do a 30 second dramatic reading

No need for expensive scripts required. Many great plays are in the public domain. Or, read lines from your favorite movie script.

7. Dance to one song a day

YouTube is your friend. Maybe you’ll try to follow along to a video like “All the Single Ladies”. Or, you could go a more abstract route and just dance the way you want. Get up, get moving, and express yourself. Who knows? You may find a new workout routine as well.

8. Unfinished project? Commit to 5 minutes a day

Maybe you have a half-finished novel, waiting for its ending. Perhaps a painting is lurking in your garage, needing the final touches. Whatever it is, roll up your sleeves and work on it for five minutes. It doesn’t have to be good. But you’ll be that much closer to actually completing it and having one less thing on your mind.

9. Color for one minute

Coloring for adults has had a huge comeback this year. I think I’ve spotted at least 2 dozen adult coloring books this year, which is more than I probably saw for twenty years.

Coloring can be a great way to reduce stress and play with color. Who knows? You might save some money this year on booze by spending a bit more time with crayons.

10. Spend 2 minutes a day learning a new skill

Maybe you really want to become a better writer. Perhaps you want to start doing origami. There are so many resources out there, both free and not. This year, don’t just say you want to do it, start learning. Whether it’s reading a wiki, or practicing your paper crane, learning a new craft or art can help widen your horizons and improve your other work as well.

As you can see all of these resolutions have two things in common:

a) Short time frames

You have a busy life even before smartphones and the internet. As much as things are getting easier, our lives are still crammed full of stuff. Keeping your resolution short makes it easier to fit it into your life and more importantly, actually show up.

b) A daily habit

I’m a big fan of routine. It’s much easier for me to do something daily than weekly or monthly. There’s more repetition and less forgetting. But also, showing up daily means those few minutes will compound on each other. Five minutes a day seems small, but after 360 days? That’s 1,800 minutes, or 30 hours. 30 hours you can invest in your passions and making your creativity a part of your life.

One last important thing

 

If you’ve ever trained a dog, you know that reward is important. Whether you like it or not, human behavior is not all that different. We too need rewards. Once you finish those 30 seconds or daily drawing, reward yourself, whether with a happy dance or just calling yourself awesome. Make yourself feel good. It will help solidify your resolution as a repetitive behavior that you’ll keep.

Will there be days when you probably won’t follow through? Of course. You’re human, and skipping can happen. Instead of just giving up or beating yourself up, start again. There will also be days you may do more than just your minimum resolution. Be sure to reward yourself for going above and beyond as well.

Yes 2016 is almost here. You don’t have to make a grand big resolution to change your life. In fact, creating a small creative habit could lead to the biggest change of all.

Have you created a creative resolution for 2016? Share it below! 

The deeper I go into the the blogosphere, the more I see two types of blogs: fashion and makeup. Perhaps I’ve just had my head in the sand, but I’ve never been a big fashion or makeup follower. I’ve never been big on makeup. I rarely use more than CC cream, lipstick, and mascara. I like clothes, but following fashion often triggers my body image issues more than anything else.

Yet a question kept nagging me this week: is fashion and makeup creative?

Personal expression

One of the main things I love about travel is people watching. People in different places do different things. I still remember watching a man walk up the Upper East Side in a full on purple suit with matching hat and shoes. It was unusual, bright, and yet, delightful. 4 years and I still can’t forget his outfit.

Clothing and makeup as forms of personal expression are one of the oldest forms of personal expression. As small children, we fight our parents for the right to dress ourselves. We get into arguments about makeup as teenagers.

Fashion and makeup is a way of creating our identity to the outside world. It’s not just about who you are, but how you want others to see you. It’s a form of visual expression and communication, not all that different from a painting or a photograph.

Political and social change

I may wear jeans every day into work, but my usual outfit today was highly transgressive 100 years ago. Women protested for the right to wear comfortable clothing. We may think of hippie clothing today as just a style, but much of it came as a rejection of corporate culture and consumerism. A little later Glam Rock used makeup to help bring in new views of gender and androgyny. Each in its own way used fashion and makeup as a visual alternative to the status quo.

In many ways, this reminds me of science fiction and fantasy used to project a new social or political vision. Just like 1984 or Brave New World, these movements critiqued the status quo and showed a new potential reality. While the books used the page and imagination to show dystopias, these people were using their bodies as canvases of a new reality, some even risking their own lives in the process.

The dark side of fashion and makeup

If there are so man positives, why am I even asking the question? Because in trying to sell goods, there’s an impulse trying to feed off of our insecurities. It’s the trendy side, the side that tells us what we should look like, what we should want. It’s not about what makes you feel good, or how you want to look. It’s about making sure you conform.

The collateral damage can be your creativity.

What does the dark side of fashion and makeup look like? Here are some that I and some friends have found to trigger our insecurities:

• What to and not to wear at your age
• How to dress for your body type
• 8 ways to make your face look slimmer
• The right way to use or wear…

This might seem silly, but all of these send messages that stifle creativity. They tell you that it’s wrong to wear something because you don’t have the right body or it’s no longer age appropriate. They create arbitrary rules that confine you.

Are there limits? Of course. Creativity doesn’t allow you to walk into (most) offices naked or wear blood on your face. We live in a society that requires limits to freedom for the safety and security of all. But if you’re worried about leaving your house in a leopard printed skirt because “you’re too old to wear that”, will you be willing to face your fear on the page or onstage?

So how can you embrace the creative side of fashion and makeup without getting sucked into the shame and negativity? Here are some tips I’ve found helpful.

1. Ditch the magazines

I can’t say anything for most blogs, but many of the main stream magazines play on insecurities. They rely on advertisers who want you to buy more products. If they can make you believe that their product will make you look and feel better, they will sell it that way. Studies show that media consumption can increase body dissatisfaction.

Hesitant? Take a look at your subscriptions. How do you feel after reading them? Do you feel better or worse about yourself after reading them? Do you feel pushed to buy new things you don’t really want or need? Let your gut guide you.

2. Reclaim your style

It’s easy to follow the norms of society when it comes to fashion and makeup. But when was the last time you really thought about your clothing? Does it represent you? How do you feel in them? If you say yes, then awesome! If not, it’s time to reclaim your style.

For me, I am lazy. I don’t like to shop and hate spending hours trying to figure out what to wear. I’ve been drawn toward minimalism for a while, but minimalist style became my ethos this year. I focused my wardrobe around classic basics in simple colors and let my accessories be big and colorful to add punch. I don’t do heels, but man do I love a good pair of boots. Dressing like this feels comfortable and easy. I know it’s right for me because I feel good in these clothes.

You may find my wardrobe boring, that’s ok. Look through your closet and makeup, what do you love? What are you ambivalent about? My rule of thumb is if I haven’t used something in a year, I probably won’t use it again. Clean out what you don’t want anymore and start making space for the ones that truly reflect you.

3. Find inspiration

I may no longer read fashion magazines, but I still find plenty of style in my life to influence my decisions. I love that the internet allows me to get inspiration from around the world, not just my backyard. Some places I look for inspiration include:

• Pintrest
• Movies
• Street style wherever I am
• Instagram

Of course, there could be boards on Pintrest or Instagram feeds that are just as triggering as many mainstream publications. Choose the ones that provide inspiration rather than rules.  Because I have struggled with body image, I make sure to include people of various shapes and sizes. Make sure you find content that helps you instead of hurts you.

At the end of the day, not everyone is into fashion or makeup. For some people, they just want clothes that will fit well and allow them to go to and from work without much fuss. There’s nothing wrong with that. It says nothing positive or negative about your creativity.

However, if you feel bound up by social rules and expectations for how you dress and present yourself, then it’s time to reconsider the role fashion and makeup play in your life. What is creative for you about it? What isn’t? Being able to answer and stand by these questions will help you when you tackle larger creative projects in your own life.

How do you express your creativity in fashion or makeup? Share in a comment below! 

The other day, I went through some old photos from a family trip to Hong Kong and Beijing. I remember my fifteen year old self taking a 35 mm camera, hoping to take beautiful artistic photos. I just wanted to capture something beautiful. I wanted to become a real photographer.

When I came home, I was so eager to open the packs of processed photos. I can still feel my disappointment. They weren’t what I wanted. They weren’t beautiful. God, who was I kidding? I was no good at this.

I put those photos away and lost the camera. I didn’t start taking photos again for another 8 years.

Yesterday when I looked at those photos again I saw something completely different.

Learning mistakes 

A lot of these images have common issues that just show a newcomer to photography. The image above, for instance, has a problem with framing. It would have been more interesting without the man standing on the right hand side.

But the photo still tells a story. It shows the rush of people and the military presence in the middle of it all, a part of everyday life in Beijing.

Sometimes, the problem with the photography comes from not understanding the equipment. I wanted beautiful images but I had an automatic film camera. In this image, you can see it has some struggle with shadows and low light. At the time, it seemed boring, a bit dark.

Today, this photo shows me what the camera can and can’t do. It shows that the camera doesn’t have much nuance when it comes to shadow. If I had that camera today, I’d be more aware of the direction of the light and how the shadows would show up on film.

In both cases, these photos show opportunities to improve. They could have been learning lessons, for better framing, for better lighting. But I had been willing to see them.

The evidence versus the story

If you were to tell your life story, there would be details you had to leave out. Sure, maybe you’d mention high school, but would you bring up each and every class? Some details just don’t matter.

The story I used to tell was that of a bright young girl. It didn’t include creativity. I liked art class, but it was work, a lot of hard work. I was an avid reader, but writing essays? God finishing those was as hard as pulling teeth.

Telling myself that story of how I wasn’t creative, wasn’t artistic limited me. It kept me from believing in writing. It made me judgmental of any art I did. It made me envious of those who did such beautiful work.

But the evidence didn’t back that up. Here were photographs, some of them quite good, that I took. I have journals with smatterings of poetry since I was thirteen. I still remember sharing a story with my 8^th grade English teacher. Bless her soul, I think she actually read it.

The hard truth? My creativity wasn’t a newfound revelation in my 20’s. I merely reclaimed the impulse that I’d denied myself for a long, long time. I created a new story, rewriting myself a narrative and a creative identity.

Reframing your story

Each of us has a story. Part of reclaiming your creativity is reclaiming the creative story, reclaiming creativity as part of your identity.

This isn’t about creating a new warped story. It isn’t about saying you were always a prodigy or gifted. It’s about embracing a larger, more complex identity that includes your creativity.

Here are a few steps to get started:

1. Review your stories

What are the stories you tell yourself? When someone asks about you, what do you tell them?

Write them down and see what patterns come up. What do you define yourself as? What do you say you aren’t? There’s no right or wrong here. It’s about letting yourself really see how you do and don’t define yourself.

2. Collect your evidence

Not all evidence comes in photographs. It could be a note your teacher made on a report card in grade school. Maybe it’s tall tales you used to make up for your family. This isn’t a court case: you can find glimmers of your creativity in many places. Some places to start include:

• Going through old albums and any coursework you’ve kept over the years
• Writing down any memories you have of being creative
• Asking friends and family about any memories they have about your creativity

You don’t need to spend hours doing this, but having at least a few anecdotes or separate moments can be really helpful.

3. Make a new story

Looking at your evidence, what new story can you recreate? What were you really like as a kid or young adult?

For instance, let’s say you loved to dance as a kid. What did you do? When did you dance? What was or wasn’t inspiring for you? Finally, why did you stop or what made that change?

Answering these questions can help you connect the dots in your story. It can help you see what your creativity was like and what changed it or dampened it. Sometimes, the story is anticlimactic. Things changed, or perhaps you became busy.

Other times, creating this story could force you to face some old and deep wounds.  Either way, be open and gentle to yourself through the process. You might have made choices you deeply regret. You still deserve compassion through this process.

I wish I had been more gentle with myself. I wish I had spent more time as a kid exploring the arts I loved but didn’t think I was good at. However, we can’t change the past. We can only learn from it and treat ourselves better from now on.

Looking back at my old photographs, I realized how much of a perfectionist I still am. I push myself to always make something better. It’s easier for me to see something as wrong rather than learn from my mistake. If left unchecked, this impulse only hurts me. It only makes me want to put down my journals and cameras. It doesn’t help me improve or enjoy my work.

It may seem like navel gazing, but understanding our personal stories matters. They let us see where our blocks are. They can help us from falling into the traps that kept us from being creative previously. They can even help us be more compassionate when we don’t measure up in the future.

What was your creative story? How have you begun to embrace your true creativity?

A week or so ago, I thought writing on gratitude and creativity would be easy. You know, Thanksgiving is almost here. Before there were hectic flights home and elaborate Turduckens, Thanksgiving was about giving thanks (Shocking, I know.) Gratitude, all the positive things we hear about saying thanks, relates to happiness and overall well-being.

How do gratitude and creativity relate? Turns out more than even I thought.

The creative benefits of gratitude

While I’ve seen a lot of work on the scientific findings linking gratitude and happiness, I hadn’t seen as much on its benefits to creativity. Here are just some of the ways gratitude can impact your creative game.

Breaking the box

Gratitude, as many know, can actually make us happier. We focus on the good things in our lives, and suddenly life seems better. That bit of happiness can actually make us better at creative problem solving.

This helps creative people of all stripes. Suddenly, you’re seeing new avenues for the plot of a story. Perhaps you find a different chord progression for the bridge of your song. Taking a few moments to be thankful could be your trick for overcoming creative blocks, or at least seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

Get out of your own head

Most of the inspiration in my life happens around me. Sometimes, it’s a quote I hear (I have a whole list I want to work with). Other times, it’s an image outside I need to capture. While my own emotional landscape is important, when I get stuck in my own head, I rarely can get out long enough to get anything down.

Gratitude helps us shift out of ourselves and back into the relational world. Suddenly, you’re remembering the awesome people in your life. Or, you’re just grateful to have working eyes to see the bright winter sun. Whatever you’re grateful for, most of it feels beyond the ego. That can be a great help in noticing details and letting inspiration work in its most natural way.

Better recall of details

There’s been a correlation found between positive emotions and remembering peripheral details of events. You don’t have to be working on a memoir for this to be relevant. Creating great stories or setting a scene includes peripheral details. A great film isn’t just actors and the right shots: it’s about the details such as historically accurate clothing.

If you’re stressed, upset, or worried, you may not be as focused on remembering those details. You’ll be more inside your own head rather than recall what the audience needs for the work to feel real.

Who are you thanking anyway?

Gratitude often is said to someone. It could be sarcastically (Thanks Captain Obvious, I do realize the cheese is oozing out of my sandwich.) Or, you could be honestly grateful at a kind gesture, whether it’s the perfect cat card from a friend (your friend sends you the perfect card) or a surprise early holiday present waiting for you on your bed.

So who do you thank when it’s your own work? Where is the source of your own creativity? Is it just ourselves, patting ourselves on the back? I like to think it’s a little more complicated.

I prefer the idea Elizabeth Gilbert talks about, the idea of a muse outside ourselves. Whether you think the source of your inspiration is God, nature, or something else, it takes a lot of the pressure off you. I become grateful to being able to channel or see it. Each character has a unique voice in my head. I’m lucky to have the opportunity to tell their story.

When I give thanks I become grateful: for the opportunity, for the ability to create. It’s not just me patting myself on the back. It’s me remembering that my process is bigger than myself.

Making gratitude a part of your life

The nice thing with gratitude is just small changes in your work or day can lead to very large rewards. Here are a few ways you can incorporate gratitude into your day.

1. Write a gratitude list

In the morning, I like to write a list of things I’m grateful for. Sometimes it can be as silly as my fleece blanket, so soft against my skin. Other times, it’s morning light. Hell, some mornings it’s just the fact that I can go back to sleep later that day (thank god for naps!)

Trying to write 3-5 things each day your grateful for can dramatically change your day. It helps me create an attitude focused on all I have, instead of all I don’t.

2. Say thanks before or after a meal

Unless you fast frequently, you eat at least 1-2 meals a day (or if you’re a hobbit like me, closer to 4-5). I don’t always do this well, but I like to say thanks before or after a meal. One great Buddhist meditation is trying to think of all the people who worked to bring me my food or drink.

So an example: I bought a soy latte this morning. I’d envision then the coffee plant and all the people who worked to grow and get the coffee beans to me. I envision the Starbucks employees who do logistics and send it to the local store, even the employees who make the latte. I’d also think about the soy milk: all the work in growing the soy beans and creating the milk to make my coffee creamy and dairy free.

Suddenly I’m not just drinking a cup of coffee, I’m connected to thousands of people around the world. This often blows my mind before 10 am.

3. Thank someone

There are a lot of people who do things for you everyday. Whether it’s the mailman, the garbage collectors, or just someone who rings up your lunch order. Take time to look at least one person in the eye and say thanks for their work.

it doesn’t have to be sappy or uncomfortably long. Make sure you actually notice their eye color though, so it’s long enough that you really looked at them.

Do you have a gratitude practice? Share yours below!

Two seemingly contradictory things have been going through my mind of late. I’ve started to try and freelance more writing, especially personal essays. I’ve had some success at places like Ravishly. Many love my ideas, but there’s just one small problem. They won’t pay me. Oh I get exposure, but my time, my effort, my stories? They don’t have the funds to do that.

It becomes a choice: do I say thanks but no thanks? Do I give my work away?

On the other side of the pendulum, a good friend of mine is a consultant for a tech company. In their mailroom is an incredibly smart and hardworking 18 year old who is working after school to help take care of his family. He wants to go to a California university for engineering. Small problem: He can’t afford tuition.

The company decided to invest in this bright employee: They’ll pay for tuition, books, and housing for all four years. They’re willing to spend over a hundred thousand dollars to help him go to college.

Is one the savvier business move? What should an entrepreneurial creative do?

Knowing your worth

For so many creative people, we struggle to understand the value of our work. Yes, I say work. It takes time and energy to write a story. It takes equipment to paint or write a song. It takes sweat and occasional blood blisters to create a great dance. It requires as much time and effort as the work people do in offices, on the road, or in meetings.

Creative work deserves to be valued not only by ourselves, but also others. As a writer, this means I have to decide how much pieces are worth, or how to negotiate that value.

Do I personally find my business blog posts as valuable as my personal essays? Not really. Yet the market also has power over it: There’s more competition in the personal essay market. So how I’m financially paid is different. That’s ok.

It’s less about the financial amount of money and more about the process. Do I feel like my work is being rewarded equitably for the market? Do I feel like it’s worth the time and effort I’m putting in? These are the questions I ask. As an INFJ, the emotional feeling matters most to me. If I feel like I’m being taken advantage of, then it’s only going to make me feel resentful and angry for the long haul.

Knowing your worth and what you are and aren’t willing to do is critical. It’s not just about nickels and dimes. Work is a relationship, with your audience or buyer. Your limits and values will change over time. Creating a process  helps you say no to work that leaves you exhausted and angry. It helps you stay open to the real opportunities that light you up and treat you well, financially or not.

The karma of generosity

Bill Clinton once said that altruism is inherently selfish. We’re all tied together. We live in a world of relationships. Thinking about ourselves first and only is a short term and near sighted perspective.

Altruism can have massive benefits for us. The California company giving one employee a college education? It’s not without caveats. This employee will work part time through the school year and commit to 5 years working with their organization after college. They are changing one employee’s life, but they also see him as an investment. This employee will come back with more skills and have a dedicated investment in the company.

They may be giving away over 100k today, but they’re gaining an employee with incredible potential.

For creative types, giving away work often opens doors and becomes promotion. My photography, for example, began as a hobby. I give a lot of it away on Instagram, sharing how I see the world and what I find beautiful.

Unintentionally, it’s become a marketing platform. Friends have asked for prints to decorate their apartments.  Right now, I’m working on printing and framing a photograph as a wedding present for a friend of mine. Not only do I give a unique gift, but my work will hang in their house for years to come. Who knows? Someone may see it and want a print.

It may not feel like quid pro quo, but I believe a sense of generosity helps us connect and open doors that we may never thought possible previously.

The surprising similarity

Both of these values share something incredibly important: willingness and wanting. Begrudgingly giving away your creative work doesn’t work. It will leave you feeling walked over. You have to be willing to stand up for yourself and say you deserve to be paid for your work and what you believe your value really is.

Both require initiative. They ask you to be a willing participant and decision maker in your life and career. It can be uncomfortable. For some, a willingness to say “hey, I’m talented and here’s how to work with me,” can feel too much like sales. Yet, very few people will refuse work that’s free.

For others, a willingness to help others can be difficult. They may feel too busy, too tired to be able to help someone out. Why should a stranger benefit from their hard work? It’s important to remember here that work is full of social relationships. Treating people well will improve your business over the long run.

Neither of these have to start in big ways. It can be as simple as

• Donating one piece of work to a charity fundraiser.
• Saying no when a potential client doesn’t feel right
• Setting aside one hour a month to give away your service or expertise
• Deciding what your value is worth per piece, per time, or per project

All of these can have massive benefits not only for your pocket book or karma, but also how you feel as a creative working professional.

What do you give away? How do you ensure your work is valued? 

Last Friday I caught up with an old college friend. She had been a fine arts major and was now helping curate art for different businesses around the country. As we were catching up over drinks, I asked her what art she does now.

“None really.” She said.

I was shocked. Here was an amazingly talented woman who could spend hours in front of a pottery wheel or sculpting a model. That was part of the problem: her mediums are expensive and time-consuming.  She didn’t have the time or money to pay a model to pose for hours.

But what about her photography, drawing, and her other creative projects? Those had dried up too.

“I’ve had to be so critical of art,” she said, “that when I try to start, I can’t finish anything.”

My heart broke. This gifted artist was being stymied by her inner critic.

What your inner critic looks like

Every inner critic looks a little different. Some are worriers, afraid of every shadow and jagged edge. Others are condescending, berating you for every smudge or flake of dust. My inner critic, Nagging Nancy, is a worrying perfectionist. She wants a piece to be flawless. No work is good unless everyone loves it. Oh don’t show that one, she says, what will people think of you for showing that?

Your inner critic may look radically different from mine. Yet they share one dangerous quality. They are calibrated to attack us at our weakest and make us believe that our art isn’t enough. Living inside of us, they know our insecurities. They will say anything and everything to stop our creativity.

Why? Because they want to protect us.

Wait, how is creativity dangerous?

The inner critic’s original role is to protect us from shame and embarrassment. We internalize the criticisms, worries, and fears of our parents and elders. Instead of waiting to be corrected by others, the inner critic tries to point it out early so we can be spared judgement from others.

So why does the inner critic care about creativity? It seems so innocent. But the creative process involves risk taking. Often it asks us to put ourselves out in front of strangers, friends, or family in a whole new light.  It can also bring up questions like

Will it be good?

What will people think?

Will I be judged for this?

Creativity, however, can’t answer any of these questions. Suddenly, the inner critic suddenly doesn’t know if we will be safe from judgement and shame. It can’t protect us from potential shame and embarrassment from the project. The only way it can protect us is by shutting down the creativity.

Yet, the inner critic isn’t perfect. It can never fully protect you from shame, embarrassment, or hurt. The inner critic can’t predict when you’ll split your pants in public by accident. It can’t catch every typo in a presentation. It can’t make you become inhumanely perfect.

Yes, it may prevent you from feeling some shame, some hurt. It will also keep you from creating amazing things, whether it’s documenting your child growing up to creating the next great love song.

Creativity is a risk, but then again, so is living.

Strategies to Overcome your Critic

Feel like you can’t get a break from your inner critic? Try some of these strategies

Just do it

Almost every morning I sit down and do morning pages, more or less 3 pages of free writing. Good, bad, or ugly, I get on the page. No edits allowed.

Most days It’s a hodge-podge of worries and lists. Sometimes, great things will emerge. This blog post started in my moleskin journal.

Inner critics are scaredy cats. The best way to silence them is to just start and don’t stop. Whether you write music, draw, or dance, just give yourself some time every day to show up. For awhile, don’t even look at what you’re making. This exercise isn’t about output, it’s about showing up. Like an athlete, this practice will keep you warm and make starting a real project even easier.

Choose resilience

Inner critics are the best doomsday prophets. If you put that song out, the whole world will realize you’re a fraud! God, even a four-year old could draw better than that. Just burn it, no one has to know. 

When this happens, sometimes I play a game. I try to logically go through the awful scenario. For instance, my inner critic might say: God, don’t publish that blog post, everyone will hate it. 

Ok, what then?

Well what if you get negative feedback on Facebook?

Depends. If it’s unnecessarily mean, I can report them. Worse case, I learn something important about writing and audiences.

…

My inner critic doesn’t go quiet every time. Still, going through these scenarios helps me focus on my resilience. Yes, bad things may happen in creativity. That doesn’t mean you aren’t strong enough to face anything that comes your way.

Remembering your own resiliency is a great way to help you keep moving forward.

Name your critic

My inner critic is Nancy. I can almost see her in my mind. She wears glasses, has her hair in a bun, and wears a button down shirt and a pencil skirt that are perfect. Like an evil librarian, her finger is always read to accuse me of breaking the rules.

My friend has named her inner critic Sister Mary Margaret. My guess is she’s a severe nun that likes to believe Vatican II never happened. I like to think she also has an Irish accent.

Take some time to name and get an idea of what your inner critic looks like. What’s their name? What do they wear? What do they value? What do they hate?

This may seem silly, but answering these questions can help you get some space from your critic. Many of us are used to the inner critic, we don’t question what it says anymore. It’s a lot easier to doubt the mean questioning voice when it doesn’t feel like it’s your own voice.

You have the choice to believe your inner critic. It may seem incredibly difficult at first, but naming my inner critic really helped me step back and understand what those thoughts were really about.

No matter which tactics you use, please know this: you deserve more than to constantly look over your shoulder. You deserve to create and enjoy the projects that make you happy. You deserve to experiment, to see what lies behind those close doors.

Yes, there may be some risk involved. But I promise you, it’s always worth it.

Any ideas for dealing with your inner critic! Please share.